First of all, you look nice today.
I am glad you decided to take some time out of your life to read this note from me.
I wanted to let you know that I have learned a lot from you – I’ve learned that you are, in fact, decent – even extra-decent. I’ve learned that you are going places – you don’t always know exactly how you’ll be getting there, but you’re going places. I’ve learned that you have a hard time believing that you’re decent, but that makes you even more of a special person. And I’ve learned that – perhaps most importantly – I’ve learned that bad things keep happening to you. I’ve learned that you’re wondering what you did to deserve these bad things. I’m not sure I can answer that question for you. What I can tell you is this: eventually, after days – months – years – heartbreaks – jerks – unmet expectations – questions – doubts – cries – laughs – gifts – calls – texts – kisses – misses – blankets – pillows – dinners – forgotten birthdays – tunes – songs – notes – car rides – fights – arguments –
You wake up one day and you can say goodbye.
It comes out of nowhere. You’ve spent so much time being all-consumed with ruthless things – the relentless cycle you’ve been a part of - and then, on any given Thursday, you’re ready. If you’re not there yet, you will be. I promise that you will be.
There are big things happening, decent person. There are things so big happening that the universe has to keep you occupied somehow until those things arrive – they keep you occupied with non-decent people. I think they were hoping we could help them. But their biggest hope – and I know this because they told me – is that when that big stuff arrives, you’ll be able to appreciate it. You’ll have some terrible frame of reference to compare it to and you’ll know – big stuff is here, big stuff came, I’m ready for big stuff. Right now there’s a door that’s barely cracked open. You can feel a tiny draft, but you want the whole breeze. Be patient. And I’ll do the same.
We decent people have to stick together.
“And then it was dark and I thought I’d see you again. I thought maybe you’d think I was perfect the way I thought you were perfect – even despite all the things and all the hurt I’d felt because of you. I kinda thought you loved me for a second, but maybe you were just saying goodbye. Maybe I was just saying goodbye.”
and welcome back to the blog.